Cousins falling in love

It was a tragedy for two lovers who had been struggling in a relationship for two years now. This is their story:

A guy went to his village during the festive season. At this time, people came from far and wide to observe the yuletide at their hometown. The boy meeting his friend told him how he wished to marry from his home town. His only problem was that the indigenous girls were not morally minded. Bad stories were often told about them. One major story was that these girls were always getting pregnant out of wedlock. These stories becomes reality when you often see them young with big tummy carrying their babies. And these were not the kind of folk he was looking for – girls without good sex sense. He needed a lady who was close to God – one who built her trust on good morals. He looked for a love mate perhaps may have seen but was not satisfied with the kind of girls he found. There and then his friend recommended a nice girl and said “she is the perfect person you are looking for”. He smiled, laughed and hoped to know her soon.

After some time they successfully got engaged into a relationship. A new relationship has just begun. The guy liked her personality. They were just perfect match. But here again their minds still say “let’s see how it goes”. They hoped for the best.

Their relationship began to grow stronger and they prayed for each other. There was love for real. It was reflected in the way they acted to each other. It was a Christian love indeed. As soon as they discovered that the “ministry” was moving to the permanent site, they had to let their parents know. Later both parents were aware and so they started confirming the couple’s compatibility for marriage. In African or Nigerian tradition or civil law, you just can’t marry one you are closely related to. But I was surprised that Tobit 4:12-14 states “that in former times our fathers, Noah, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob took wives from among their relatives so that they might be blessed in their children and that their race might possess the land.” And thus encourages us to love our relatives. There are cases where there was sexual ties from within the family. One of such was the case of Lot and his two daughters. Though the girls had sex with their dad because they felt the situation warrants it.

To conclude my story, the parents told the boy and the girl that they were related and so no further relationship for them. It was like the end of the world for them and they got to accept their fate. The reason for their incompatibility was that:

The boy mama papa and the girl grandmamma mama nah brother and sister. It means that the boy’s maternal grand-father and the girl’s maternal great-grand-mother were siblings. And so they were second or third cousins if you look at it from both sides (see Ancestry). They were then advised to stop the relationship and see each other as siblings. It was clear to them. Both of them turned their intimate relationship into filial love at last.

What is wrong with cousin marriage? Leviticus 20:17 puts it clearly that "If a man takes his sister, the daughter of his father or his mother and they have sexual relations, it is a shameful thing and they shall be cut off before the eyes of their people. He has dishonored his sister and carries his guilt." Was the bible referring only to just siblings in Leviticus? What about cousins? See what a writer wrote on this topic: “First of all, I should point out that according to civil law, one is prohibited from marrying first cousins. As such, it includes the prohibition of dating for the purpose of marriage. Civil law also prohibits marriage to closer relatives such as parents, children (including adoptive), grandparents, etc...”

And thus he added that under Canon Law, one is prohibited from marrying someone related by blood up to the 4th cousin or 4th generation such as one's great grandchild. Under certain circumstances, one can obtain a dispensation to allow marriage within the fourth degree.

Naturally or biologically, health complications arises in the offspring of those who are so closely related e.g risk of birth defects. It then means nature’s law does not permit it. And so we just have to fall in love with those who are just far in our lineage like 5^th, 6^th, 7^th, 8^th generation and so on. Nothing less than the 5^th generation.

References

1.    Source: Marriage between cousins http://www.catholicdoors.com/faq/qu494.htm

2.    Source: http://homepages.rootsweb.ancestry.com/~bridgett/cousins.htm

3.    Source: Digital Catholic Bible

4.    Source: The Code of Canon Law 1983

5.    Source: http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/marriage-between-first-cousins-doubles-risk-of-having-baby-with-life-threatening-birth-defects-8686232.html

Aguri M. C.

Swearing an oath

I was in the bus one day reading through my Catholic Dictionary book by Reynolds. Then I got captured with the content of the book. After a while there was an argument between the bus conductor and one on-board passenger. The passenger was a mobile retailer who advertises and sells drugs. That day after his usual advert, he was about to alight and so requested for his change and he was not given. According to the conductor, the said passenger did give him an exact fare and so he would not collect any change. Then both the conductor and his interlocutor separately convinced the other passengers and the driver that they were sure of each other’s claim. At the end, the passenger requested the conductor to swear by a car key he was holding. The conductor used this words (in pidgin though interpreted in English) “I swear by this key that if it was not the exact fare of 100 naira you gave me, let me die”. I was touched by the words.

Oath taking

Immediately after the drug seller alighted, the second argument started. I was of the opinion that it was wrong for the conductor to swear for the sake of clarity. That from the Christian perspective, swearing an oath in that instance is not the better way to solve such problem. After the oath, the conductor still did not return his change to him. The man left without change. Now my question is “What if that man left while the conductor insisted that he has no change?” It then lead to my second question “Won’t it be much better if he had allowed God to judge both of them fairly?” I so prefer “no oath” for the sake of the power of the tongue and for the sake of human errors too. We should understand that the human nature is not so perfect. Sometimes humans may not be in good state of mind and so may not remember past occurrences so well as in this case. A proof or leave it for God would have been much better. And now he has sworn and I hope nobody dies as he said. “It was an evil swear” I argued.

As I was explaining things to fellow passengers, an old man challenged me. He said “…they swear in churches and courts.

Swearing in court

What will you say about that? I convinced him that the court or churches’ case was quite different. It was the case of an oath of promise. It is an oath of promise like when “…God committed himself with an oath in order to convince those who were to wait for his promise that he would never change his mind." - Hebrews 6:17. And for this reason we end with “so help me God” in the Church and court because it is not even in our own power to fulfill the promises that we keep when we swear the oath. Rather it is by the grace and power of God that such promises are kept as said or stated. So making an oath of promise makes you be in a line of justice, truth, tranquility, transparency, trustworthiness, etc. It gives you a choice of not looking back on your words and so you are guided by your promise. That is why Matthew 5:33 says "You have also heard that people were told in the past: Do not break your oath; an oath sworn to the Lord must be kept."

Therefore the oath of promise looks like you are taking a promise backed up with an oath. This can be understood in Gen 17:7 “And I will establish a covenant, an everlasting covenant between myself and you and your descendants after you; from now on I will be your God and the God of your descendants after you, for generations to come…” and well explained in Hebrews 6:13,18. Verse 13 says "Remember God's promise to Abraham. God wanted to confirm it with an oath and, as no one is higher than God…" and 18 concludes "Thus we have two certainties in which it is impossible that God be proved false: promise and oath. That is enough to encourage us strongly when we leave everything to hold to the hope set before us." Now can we look at this matter professionally? If we do, we will discover that there is oath of promise and an affirmative oath.

Well the affirmative oath is good if and only if the thing sworn is good but if the thing sworn is evil then it becomes non-binding according to the Code of Canon as stated by Mark Giszczak in his blog catholicbiblestudent.com in Law 1198, rules concerning oaths. And that was the oath I was against at the beginning of this write-up; an evil oath. It is surely not good whether affirmative or that of promise.

In conclusion, the CCC 2154 crowns it all for it says as stated by Mark that “The traditions of the Church has understood Jesus’ words as not excluding oaths made for grave and right reasons (for example in court). “An oath, that is the invocation of the divine name as a witness to truth, cannot be taking unless in truth, in judgement and in justice.”

Aguri M. C.

Catholic Knights: What do you know about them?

To be a knight is one thing I love. I am so inspired about them. The knights are so cute in their regalia. Their philosophy is incomplete with the exclusion of their Ladies. The Ladies of the Knights are their wives. A knight and his lady is one good couple you need to see. The Catholic knights have always been a source of inspiration to me. These days many people have limited idea about knights. But the questions still remain “What do people not know about Catholic knights?” and “What do they think they know?” So many people have got some misconceptions about them, even Catholics. Before we can understand the concept of knights history must come to play.
The word “Knight” comes from the Anglo – Saxon cniht meaning “household followers”. (Kevin, 1998) WordWeb defines knight as a person of noble birth trained to arms and chivalry. They were one of the three types of fighting men during the Middle Ages; Knights, Foot Soldiers and Archers. (Gary, 2016). These first three concept has given us some insight about the origin, definition and comparison.
The Catholic Knighthood started in the middle ages with Catholics forming themselves into small armies to escort Christian Pilgrims to and fro the Holy Land. (KSM, 2016). The early Christians had enemies at that time who were always harassing and killing pilgrims. So the knights took it upon themselves to lay down their lives in defense of the Catholic faithful and later extended the protection to the world at large.
Frankly speaking, this men are made up of practicing Catholics, and amongst them are professionals from various field of study. They do their best to assist the church individually and collectively. For Knights of St. Mulumba, below is the core values they hope to possess:
·         Working towards a high sense of order and discipline within society.
·         Co-operating with other Christian denominations and persons of goodwill without compromising Catholic Doctrines and principles.
·         Being sensitive to the needs of the poor and giving succour to the destitute, the disadvantaged and the oppressed in the society.
·         Trusting in God always rather than in man or material possessions.
·         Working for justice always and everywhere for the benefit of mankind.
·         Living an exemplary catholic life, defending the Catholic faith and loving one’s neighbour, as oneself.
(KSM, Our Values at KSM Nigeria, 2016)

The code of Chivalry is that which guides every knight. That code for instance required a knight to be a Christian in word and in action. It gives him that propensity to be ready to die for Christ as Christ died for him. Like the page of KSJI stated “To be chivalrous in the performance of all his duties as a practical catholic and must be true to the obligation of charity and mercy which our order imposes on us”. (KSJI, 2016) And so thus after his initiation, Myke Mary Nwosu stated that the new knight is expected to turn from a life of selfishness and sin - a "Me First" life - to a life of Spirit-filled generosity and love. He also added that “He becomes a man full of discipline and obedience, a man ready and willing to serve the Church, the Order and others, a man whose integrity and conduct are beyond dispute, a man of peace, and a man always ready to forgive, a man full of zeal and the Holy Spirit”. In addition to this, he is a person who is ready to show generosity and patriotism.
The idea about knighthood is still what is used to be. Though in the past, knights were household followers but now the household is the church in which they protect. A knight was expected to protect people less well-off than himself and he also corrects evil and injustice wherever they may arise.
The IACK is the International Alliance of Catholic Knights. In the IACK they are varieties of Knighthood in the Catholic Church.

·         Diplomatic Order of St. Gabriel (Philippines)
·         Fraternal Order of SS. Peter and Paul (Gambia)
·         Knights of Da Gama (South Africa)
·         Knights of Southern Cross (New Zealand)
·         Knights of St. Columba (England)
·         Knights of St. Columbanus (Ireland)
·         Knights of St. Columbus (USA, Canada, Mexico, Philippines, Guam, Saipan, Poland)
·         Knights of St. Gabriel (United Nations)
·         Knights of St. Marshal (Ghana, England)
·         Knights of St. Mulumba (Nigeria, Uganda, Cameroun)
·         Knights of St. Peter Claver (Columbia, USA)
·         Knights of St. Thomas Moore (Belgium)
·         Knights of St. Thomas the Apostle (Pakistan)
·         Knights of St. Virgil (Austria)
·         Knights of the Southern Cross (Australia)
·         L’Order Marie Rein de la Paix (Mauritius)
(KSM, International Affiliates - Knights of St. Mulumba, Nigeria, 2016)
We also have the Knights of Saint John International (KSJI) in Nigeria, New York and Michigan.
The Purpose of IACK is to bring the message of Christ to all people, to support the Pope and the Bishops, priests and religious throughout the world; to nurture the faith of its members and of Catholics in general, encouraging them to play a generous part in the life and mission of the Church; to foster the unity of its members through prayer, and to promote the establishment of Orders of the Catholic Knights where they do not yet exist. (IACK, 2016).
In conclusion, two things strikes me about this fraternity:
·         The fact that they co-operate with other Christian denominations and persons of goodwill without compromising Catholic Doctrines and principles.
·         And also hoping to counteract the harm done by many secret societies to the church and to arrest the efflux of the Christian enlightened members into those harmful secret groups.


Aguri M. C.