It was a tragedy for two lovers
who had been struggling in a relationship for two years now. This is their
story:
A guy went to his village during the festive season. At this time,
people came from far and wide to observe the yuletide at their hometown. The
boy meeting his friend told him how he wished to marry from his home town. His
only problem was that the indigenous girls were not morally minded. Bad stories
were often told about them. One major story was that these girls were always
getting pregnant out of wedlock. These stories becomes reality when you often
see them young with big tummy carrying their babies. And these
were not the kind of folk he was looking for – girls without good sex sense. He
needed a lady who was close to God – one who built her trust on good morals. He
looked for a love mate perhaps may have seen but was not satisfied with the
kind of girls he found. There and then his friend recommended a nice girl and
said “she is the perfect person you are looking for”. He smiled, laughed and
hoped to know her soon.
After some time they successfully got engaged into a relationship.
A new relationship has just begun. The guy liked her personality. They were
just perfect match. But here again their minds still say “let’s see how it
goes”. They hoped for the best.
Their relationship began to grow stronger and they prayed for each
other. There was love for real. It was reflected in the way they acted to each
other. It was a Christian love indeed. As soon as they discovered that the
“ministry” was moving to the permanent site, they had to let their
parents know. Later both parents were aware and so they started confirming the
couple’s compatibility for marriage. In African or Nigerian tradition or civil
law, you just can’t marry one you are closely related to. But I was surprised
that Tobit 4:12-14 states “that in former times our fathers, Noah, Abraham,
Isaac and Jacob took wives from among their relatives so that they might be
blessed in their children and that their race might possess the land.” And thus
encourages us to love our relatives. There are cases where there was sexual
ties from within the family. One of such was the case of Lot and his two daughters.
Though the girls had sex with their dad because they felt the situation
warrants it.
To conclude my story, the parents told the boy and the girl that
they were related and so no further relationship for them. It was like the end
of the world for them and they got to accept their fate. The reason for their
incompatibility was that:
The boy mama papa and the girl grandmamma mama nah brother and
sister. It means that the boy’s maternal grand-father and
the girl’s maternal great-grand-mother were siblings. And so they were second
or third cousins if you look at it from both sides (see Ancestry). They were then advised to stop the relationship
and see each other as siblings. It was clear to them. Both of them turned their
intimate relationship into filial love at last.
What is wrong with cousin marriage? Leviticus 20:17 puts it
clearly that "If a man takes his sister, the daughter of his father or his
mother and they have sexual relations, it is a shameful thing and they shall be
cut off before the eyes of their people. He has dishonored his sister and
carries his guilt." Was the bible referring only to just siblings in
Leviticus? What about cousins? See what a writer wrote on this topic: “First of
all, I should point out that according to civil law, one is prohibited from
marrying first cousins. As such, it includes the prohibition of dating for the
purpose of marriage. Civil law also prohibits marriage to closer relatives such
as parents, children (including adoptive), grandparents, etc...”
And thus he added that under Canon Law, one is prohibited from
marrying someone related by blood up to the 4th cousin or 4th generation such
as one's great grandchild. Under certain circumstances, one can obtain a
dispensation to allow marriage within the fourth degree.
Naturally or biologically, health complications arises in the
offspring of those who are so closely related e.g risk of birth defects. It
then means nature’s law does not permit it. And so we just have to fall in love
with those who are just far in our lineage like 5th, 6th,
7th, 8th generation and so on. Nothing less than the
5th generation.
References
1. Source: Marriage between cousins http://www.catholicdoors.com/faq/qu494.htm
3. Source: Digital Catholic Bible
4. Source: The Code of Canon Law 1983
Aguri M. C.
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